So lets talk about writing, I love to write. Ever since I was a kid I've always been fascinated with a writers ability to create new exciting worlds and then fill them with dynamic characters solely for the purpose of entertaining others. You can use writing to express every range of emotion known to man as well as put your characters in every situation imaginable. You can use writing to sway peoples opinions by telling stories designed to show people your side of an argument. You can start wars, or stop them for that matter. Most notably you can save history for future generations, or if that's not your cup of tea you can change history to shift the course of this generation.
Now to get to the parts I don't like and that pretty much surrounds every rule created to control writing, I'm talking about grammar and the insane rules that it imposes on writing. Now lets break down writting to it's basic function. At it's center, writing is basically the practice of taking your thoughts and making them into a visual image that is easy for others in your culture to translate and understand what you mean. This of course is an extension of speech which when you really break it down is just a form telepathy anyways. To quote Joe Rogan, "Words are just sounds made by my mouth so you can understand what I'm thinking." So logically words are actually visual thoughts.
Now what happens when you create a system of rules to control a persons thoughts? You guessed it, mind control. In essence that's how I feel about grammar in general, they are an overcomplicated, often contradicted, and highly annoying system of rules designed solely to control the way in which you are forced to organize your own thoughts. I know this is true for a fact because I first thought of this in kindergarten and as we all know everything we ever needed to learn in life we learned in kindergarten.(by the way, kindergarten is a German word. Germans, grammar, nazis, seeing a pattern here!)
Nothing would make me more irritated in school than when I would be writing out an opinion essay or something of the sort only to get it back a week later covered in red ink. Every misused verb, noun and punctuation mark circled, underlined, and commented on with such rich and enlightening quotes such as, "not needed", "Wrong use", and "Are you retarded?". Why the hell would you ask me to go home and not watch tv just to write an opinion essay in which you only plan on grading me on my grammar use if you are not trying to control my mind, really? Getting convinced yet? I thought so.
Really though, how can you assign rules to thought? One day will kids be in class with their heads jacked into computers and their teachers voice booming in their heads every time they're thoughts turn into run on sentences? Maybe receive an electric shock whenever the word ain't pops in their head or they forget to double space after the end of a sentence? I could probably give more sarcastic examples however I am limited due to the fact that these are the only rules that I can seem to remember at this point. So remember, if you want to break away from the control the Man has imposed on you, never use a comma correctly. Only use one form of the word their in all situations. Start all of your sentences with the word and. And always use an exclamation point to end your sentences!
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